BJ Panda Bear as BJ Panda Bear
You only get to turn 21 once… For me it was a few messed up weeks of drinking and eating everywhere and everything at night before crying the pain away in the gym trying to maintain that subtle indentations at the right place that would be showcased with a slit in the Rick Owens top… I failed badly after 2 mezcals at dinner and a pile of fried chicken detailed by all the fixings… my water pills and all the preparations went boom and I was bloated and fabulous.
My birthdays have always been a special place for intimate moments, where my insecurities come out my bleak out occurs. My diva predicaments of freaking out and sending death threats to which of the special 150-200 guests didn’t show up are legendary. I’m awfully insecure of being the most popular since the time I was 8 and threw an elaborate Halloween party which featured a spiderweb cascading through my entire living room and a chocolate fondue buffet… only 5 kids showed up.
This years fuck fest was Rothschild Illuminati themed which was so grand to see my friends who went all out… and then there were my friends who gave me panic attacks over their lack of costumes, but there presence was all that mattered.
While stepping out to take photos I was approached by some random mousy girl who had been arguing with the door man. Taking advantage of my drunken state she tried to hustle me by telling me, “you invited me 3 weeks ago at the party up Laurel and Mulholland drive you remember”. Hesitant and uncomfortable I had no recollection of this mousy under dressed girl, who really had no excuse to show up to my party without a look, especially since I apparently had invited her. I looked to the left at her choice of friends and then I said, “No No No I don’t remember ever meeting you I’m sorry, I hadn’t been to a party in that area in ages and I just put this party together 2 weeks ago…”. I secretly wanted to rip her a new one over her poor personal style and taste as well as the crowd she hung out with. A basic looking marshmallow of a girl who wore frayed denim miniskirts unironically, a fat little China man who looked liked he belonged in finance. Don’t get me wrong I’m a fat China man, but so much more expressive, blonde and tasteful… It was a lesson to be taught learned and never forgotten… unless I was getting paid to be nice to random people, like the cheap whore I am at times, this was my birthday and I was the most popular kid in school who should never mind excluding, isolating, and belittling people who were not considered “my people”… as the mousy girl stepped away in defeat she mumble obscenities at me to which my friend Sandy started going mean girl back at her… I started going back in happy and humbled Sandy is the perfect example of one of my people… I was 21 years old and none too wiser but a whole lot more insightful.
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